Musings on motherhood and an (almost) decade between babies
“Feel like I’m going back to square one” I keep hearing myself say in response to people asking how I feel about our bubba. And then I caught myself saying it recently to someone, and obviously to myself because our words are a product of how we feel and thought actually no, Jacq, you’re not, you have a lot more lessons than when you started the journey in motherhood with Jet almost 10 years ago. So I thought I would share 5 of (the many) lessons I have learned with you too…
- Take the time you need. I rushed a lot with Jet. Mostly with healing and I pay the price for it now. I went back to exercise WAY TOO SOON because I was convinced a) that my body would bounce back with being young b) I had to ‘get my body back’ – I won’t be doing the same this time, I’m going to walk my talk and take the 40 days of dedicated healing (the golden month) and a minimum 6 weeks of next to nothing, but gentle walks
- Ask for help. There is no shame. Yes you feel like superwoman after birth, any mumma, dad, doula, whoever who has witnessed it would say that women in fact ARE real living superheroes when they birth a miniature watermelon but you still need help and if you convince everyone, including yourself, that you can do it then people don’t offer as much AND you end up falling in a heap at some stage. Soon after or down the track. You do not need to do everything, whilst you think you can, it doesn’t mean you should.
- It can wait. The emails, social media, visitors, the pressures of getting back to things, they can actually wait. You just have to be ok with saying ‘no’, which is the start of a great lesson in life if you haven’t already practised it.
- Sleep is awesome. Take it at any and every moment you can. I didn’t sleep properly for about 5 years with Jet, I had a long labour (31 hours) which kicked off the exhaustion and then I didn’t really caught up. I’m banking sleep now whilst pregnant and because I’ll be saying no to a lot more when bublet comes, I’m going to tap those micro naps whenever and wherever I can. Park snoozes are awesome FYI – you get Vitamin D, bub gets fresh air, everyone wins.
- Everything will unfold just as it should. Jet was an attached bub, he needed to be close, too many (baby) books talk about sleep structures and self settling and he just wasn’t that kid and I thought I was doing something wrong. I wasn’t and he wasn’t either. That was, is, just his personality. Every baby, every person is so unique, they’ll do what they want, you can get caught in the ‘what they should do’ or relax and just ‘do what works for you and bub’.